Breezin Through Hanoi

Jan 30, ’08 2:33 AM

Vietnam is not a breeze. Literally, that is. Going into my recent trip, I checked CNN.com for Hanoi weather just to make sure I was bringing the right set of wardrobe and man, I had a blast seeing the five-day weather had clouds and rain droplets in its visuals. I’d welcome rain anytime. What? With the temps ranging from scorching 35s to the feverish 40s, I’d pay the rain gods for some good and mean thunderstorms.

The trip was also destined to be a historic one for me. I was a “Vietnam newbie” and was taking my first Cathay Pacific flight. The flight to Hong Kong for the stopover was so rnuch like the Pinatubo trek- it was overcast and bumpy. In one instance, the plane hit an air pocket and dipped a bit too low for comfort. It was so scary that someone actually screamed in panic. So much for my highly vaunted CX maiden flight. So ok, fast forward to the hanoi trip. In this trip, I’ve learned a ton about Vietnam but i’m just going to share with you eight:

1. The Vietnamese people are the best elementary school models for “herbivorous” animals. Their daily meals consist of green, leafy vegetables in epic proportions. Our host was very gracious and offered us their authentic cuisine all throughout. I had no choice but to consume an amount which is 300% higher than my self-lnflicted monthly vegetable intake. And I’m talking about a 3-day stint. On my last night, I begun to have this creepy feeling that I’m gonna wake up the next morning to find out that I’ve morphed into the Green Lantern or the Incredible Hulk (Think Green).

2. Artificial skin care products have no market in Vietnam. The Vietnamese have great looking skin – fair, smooth and almost creamy in consistency and no, I’m not talking about ice cream. Know-alls attribute this to the Vietnamese diet which like I said, is composed mainly of green, leafy vegetables. So Dra. Vicky Belo, you can forget about putting up your 71st Forever Flawless branch in Hai Phong. You can just concentrate on hiring attendants who are not attractive to star basketball players who are marrled to multi-millionaire actresses/once-presidential daughters/attempting to become elected future Philipine presidents. (now that is more than enough “slashes” to last a lifetime)

3. Hanoi Vietnam’s infrastructure plans, once in place will make the Philippine DPWH drool. Several construction are now on-going for new roads, flyovers, bridges and walkways aimed to convert Hanoi into a world class city.

4. Motorcycles are the new bicycles in Hanoi.

Seen those postcard pics of Vietnam? Those people who take the bike en masse, pedalling their ways in their salakots? Gone are the days. Motorcycles now dominate the streets of Hanoi taking three lanes out of four. In this city, the motorcycles are the kings of the road. Cars and automobiles take pains in avoiding these motorcycles and thereby avoiding accidents. Well, I look at it on the bright side -more motorcycles means more girls in shorts and more legs on sight.

5. Vietnam has free wi-fi everywhere. As opposed to Manila where wi-fi comes with a price we wonder why turo turo type restos, offices, and coffee shops offer the service here for free. 6. Vietnamese driving offers a unique method of overtaking in highways – Tailgate. Honk incessantly. Flash your lights non stop until the vehicle in front moves away.
7. One of Hanoi’s prime commodities is one of the arts.

According to some information, there is one village near the region where Vietnamese ladies do unique art pieces of mostly paintings. At the Departure Area of Hanoi International airport, tourists of mostly Western descent are seen lugging rolls of canvass for ”take out”.

8. One of Vietnamese Airlines’ flight attendants is an actual deadringer a Filipina celebrity. I’m so hooked with her that I actually refused to deplane for some time. What can I say? I’m exaggerating through my teeth. Only this much is true – she was oh so beautiful, I’m kinda planning to change gender.

So there. Eight beautiful things about Vietnam and its people. Visit them sometime.

Sadly, I found out one more thing but its not about Vietnam. Its about CNN and their freakin their weather forecasts! So entirely erroneous. Boys, it was like Al Gore’s inconvenient truth out there – deep fried hot !